Aegipan and the meaning of tattoo's....

Below is a picture of my second tattoo and here is what it symbolizes to me. The other tattoo, I have decided, will have to be finished before I can properly convey its significance.

Greek mythology hold that Aegipan, the half man/half goat god was a lover of merry noise. Through wooded glades he wanders with dancing Nymphai who foot it on some sheer cliff's edge, calling upon Pan, the shepherd god (Theos Nomios), long-haired, unkempt. He has every snowy crest and the mountain peaks and rocky crests for his domain; hither and thither he goes through the close thickets, now lured by soft streams, and now he presses on amongst towering crags and climbs up to the highest peak that overlooks the flocks. Often he courses through the glistening high mountains, and often on the shouldering hills he speeds along slaying wild beasts, this keen-eyed god. Only at evening, as he returns from the chase, he sounds his note, playng sweet and low on his pipes of reed: not even she could excel him in melody - that bird who flower-laden spring pouring forth her lament uters honey-voiced song amid the leaves. At that hour the clear-voiced Nymphai are with him and move with nimble feet, singing by some spring of dark water, while Ekho wails about the mountain-top, and the god on this side or on that of the choirs, or at times sidling into the midst, plies it nimbly with his feet. On his back he wears a spotted lynx-pelt, and he delights in high-pitched songs in a soft meadow where crocuses and sweet-smelling hyacinths bloom at random in the grass.They sing of the blessed gods and high Olympos and choose to tell of such a one as luck-brining Hermes above the rest, how he is the swift messenger of all the gods, and how he came to Arkadia, the land of many springs and mother of flocks, there where his sacred place is as god of Kyllene. For there, though a god, he used to tend curly-fleeced sheep in the service of a mortal man, because there fell on him and waxed a strong melting desire to wed the rich-tressed daughter of Dryopos, and there he brought about the merry marriage. And in the house she bare Hermes a dear son who from his birth was marvellouse to look upon, with goat's feet and two horns - a noisy, merry-laughing child. But when the nurse saw his uncouth face and full beard, she was afraid and sprang up and fled and left the child. Then luck-bringing Hermes received him and took him in his arms: very glad in his heart was the god. And he went quickly to the abodes of the deathless gods, carrying his son wrapped in warm skins of mountain hares, and set him down beside Zeus and showed him to the rest of the gods. Then all the immortals were glad in heart and Bakkheios Dionysos in especial; and they called the boy AegiPan [derived from pantes meaning 'all'] because he delighted all their hearts.

So, that is the official legend of his birth and life. Aegipan is also the god represented by my zodiac sigh, Capricorn, as seen below:

Capricornus represents a son of Zeus named Aegipan, who fought alongside Zeus in his battle against the Titans. Before battle, Aegipan discovered Conchas, the horns of the sea, and had their army use these horns in battle instead of their trumpets. Hearing these great horns of the sea, the Titans became frightened and fled, thus giving victory to Zeus. Zeus, in return, placed him among the stars to honor him -- half goat to signify Aegipan himself, who was similar in form to a wild goat -- and half fish to signify his discovery of the Conchas. Pan, the god of woods and fields, of flocks and shepherds, dwelt in grottos, wandered on the mountains and in valleys, and amused himself with the chase or in leading the dances of the nymphs. He was fond of music, and in one story, Pan was pursuing a chaste female named Syrinx. Just as he was about to catch her, her sister nymphs turned her into a reed in the river Ladon. When Pan couldn't figure out which one she was, he cut several and made them into his trademark instrument, the panpipe. Pan, like other gods who dwelt in forests, was dreaded by those whose occupations caused them to pass through the woods by night, for the gloom and loneliness of such scenes dispose the mind to superstitious fears. Hence sudden fright without any visible cause was ascribed to Pan, and called a Panic terror. As the name of the god signifies all, Pan came to be considered a symbol of the universe and personification of Nature.

Pan's imagine has been used since early Christianity as the face of the Devil or Satan. The reason for this is complex and as I disagree with the most of the dogma of organized religion I found this god to be particularly fitting for me as a person. I do not worship him (obviously), nor do I believe he really existed, but the very idea of him and the things he represented are fascinating and very appropriate for me. Perhaps more than any other mythology. Especially as it is evident that his originally pleasant legend was warped to serve the uses of the church, something I have been privy to on many occasions in the form of countless debates over dogma that convey guilt on us all, thereby keeping the pews and the coffers full. I believe in an all powerful God, but I do not believe he is to be found in a fancy building, nor do I believe another (such as a priest or pastor) must act as an intermediary for me. God is in nature and nature is in God. The God I believe in would get one hell of a kick out of Pan and I imagine his displeasure at the events described below.

Pan represented freedom of spirit, natural instincts, sinless love. In some parts of the world, prior to the advent of Christianity, women were free, untrammeled by rigid rules of moral conduct, and therefore, when the new religion made its debut, women were called sinful. "The Christians found the women of Europe free and sovereign," says Elizabeth Davis in "The First Sex" (p 229). "The right to divorce, to abortion, to birth control, to property ownership, to the bearing of titles and the inheritance of estates, to the making of wills, to bringing suits at law, all these and many other rights were attrited away by the Church through the Christian centuries." We must remember that the leaders of the early church were Jews, bred in the Hebraic tradition that women were of no account and existed solely to serve men. Orthodox Judaism of the time, like Saint Augustine of Hippo, taught that women had no souls. Now we draw closer to the reason Pan might have been viewed as Satan, why the figure of Satan as handed down to us consists of goat's feet, horns and black hair. (The statue of the god Min, the Egyptian Pan, was daubed black.) Pan came to represent the freedom of spirit and love of Nature which could be viewed only as works of the Devil. Pan and women were allies, friends, lovers. All were guiltless, without shame. As some scholars have it, guilt is the cornerstone of the early Christian faith. Woman was guilty by virtue of being woman. Saint Clement announced that "Every woman should be overwhelmed with shame at the very thought that she is woman." Here we have it in a nutshell: pagans had no guilt, no shame, no sense of sin. Thus Pan became the paragon of guilt, the embodiment of sin, and the patron of that horrendous human weakness - sex. Obviously, like gods and goddesses, and rites and ceremonies before him, Pan had to be either syncretized, suppressed or subordinated. True to form, the Christian Fathers incorporated Pan into their pantheon - as Satan. Pan could not be annihilated for too many people loved, adored and worshipped him. He could not be extirpated from the hearts and minds of men and women. So he was simply 'evilized'. This Christian act was felt everywhere; the repercussions were wideranging. The Christian God was said to have killed Pan.